I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
How external is "for external use only"?
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
