i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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