in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
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I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
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This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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