I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize
