my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Randomize
