So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
