He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
id be glad to
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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