It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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