Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
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