dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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