margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
