she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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