Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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