i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
