He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
