Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
