OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
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