Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
