Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
You pole danced in your parka.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
