Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
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