It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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