Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
