he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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