erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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