Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I just want to make out with him forever
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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