Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Randomize
