I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
