what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
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