Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Randomize
