Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Randomize
