Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
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