At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
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