Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Randomize
