they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
