Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
