maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still have a little drunk in my system
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize