i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Randomize