I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
