please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
