I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
