Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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