i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
