Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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