i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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