she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
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