just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Randomize