I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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