just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
