he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
17 year olds will be the death of me.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Randomize
