could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
