never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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