Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
