We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
