We won't sleep together?
I wannas sexs uuuuu
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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