im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
how does that bad decision feel?
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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