you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I need a burrito and a hug.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize