so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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