I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
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